About a question that I cannot seem to run away from

When I sat down in front of my boss late last week, I could almost predict what she was going to say, or rather, ask.


This topic had been broached before (about 2 years back), and that time, my answer was non-committal. It was more of a 'not yet'. It was not a direct 'No', but it was definitely not a 'Yes'.



Though it has been some time now, yet deep inside, I am still counting the ramifications of my answer. Sometimes, I wonder where would I be today, had my answer been an unequivocal 'Yes'.


But it has always been like this, isn't it?


Each time you say a 'Yes' or a 'No'; each time you make a decision; each time you make a choice, you close some doors, and open others. Some closed doors may never be opened again.

This is the tantalising speculation that sometimes, though rarely, haunts me.



This time, opportunity presents itself to me again. I am blessed with a choice. But the question that has been posed to me bears a heavy burden.


The burden is heavy, because even right now, my thoughts are in a flux. I do not yet know how to present an answer.


Yet, there are many things I know I can do. My time is long overdue. I need not hesitate no longer.


I should banish all those uncertainties. I know what my bent is. I know what works for me. It's time I laid them all on the table. If the doors will not open for me here, I will move elsewhere.


It's easy to stay in one's comfort zone, twiddling the thumbs, raking in the money, and think that there is nothing more to one's career.

But if you do that, you get stale. You lose your creativity. You do the same things, over and over again.





So, it's time for me to face up to this question once and for all. It's time to ask of myself, "What else can I do besides the so many thousand things I have been doing all this while?"

It's time for a reckoning.