About what it should have been

The past few days haven't been very illuminating for me.


I cannot deny that the release of the O Level results kept my mind preoccupied for a great part of the week. My confidence rose and ebbed like the waves. It was always going to be tough to reject many colleagues and students who made morale-sapping comments like, "We're not gonna do well this year."



Anyway, I was glad to have Miss Kum by my side to give out the results slips to 4e5. We were very happy to see you in the hall. I wonder how have you been? I could not speak to all of you, as the Hall proceedings was really highly strung and emotional. It was hard to remain stoic under such circumstances.



To 4e5, I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. Your future remains bright, as long as you believe in yourself and think clearly about what you want to do. Some decisions are going to be difficult to make, but you must never be indecisive.


To those who are pleased with your results, well done. I believe that consistent hard work pays off, and in this case, I affirm this to be true, when I saw some of your results. The journey ahead will prove to be even more challenging and tricky, but just as you have succeeded before, you will also succeed in the future, so long you stay true to the values of diligence and hold fast to positive work ethic.


Some of you may be upset or bitter with your results. Some others might feel nothing in the immediate moments upon receiving your result slip. But the hammer falls hard, sometimes hours later, sometimes the very next morning, and the realisation dawns that you could have done better.


Regrets need not haunt you forever. Consider your options, and submit to the wrath of yourself and your parents.

But you need to move on. You need to make decisions - fast.

Stop playing the blame game.



Bounce back. This is the best way. Be resilient.

You can still get back onto the successful path. Do a reflection, find out how you can manage your time better next time.


Your self-confidence must never be diminished.




I will miss 4e5. We will all meet each other again. I know this for sure!





Another matter also hit me, like a sledgehammer, when I was still caught up in the tense moments of releasing the O Level results to my students.

My coach texted me to give an update on my boys' match against Nan Hua High School.

We lost by 3 points.


That was a blow that really hurt.


From then onwards, it became so much harder to retain that positive smile, when this result weighed like an anvil on my heart.



How I wished that the match could have been held on another day, so that I would fulfil both desires - to issue out the O Level results personally to my form class, and to be present (as I always want to) at this crucual match.





And as if the day couldn't seem to get any worse, it did.

In the evening, I went for the 1.5km swim trial at Yishun SAFRA, where I had to complete 30 laps under 40 minutes, in order to participate in the Biathlon that I have signed up for.

While I am very comfortable with running and sports games, I have never been an able swimmer.


My inexperience counts heavily against me. I rarely swim, and the last 2 swims happened in 2007, and that was during the Triathlons. Even then, it was only 750m in the choppy waters. I foolishly thought that the 1.5km swim in the calm waters of the swimming pool would be a piece of cake.


At my 26th lap, the instructor told me to hurry up. I sped up my breaststrokes, and kicked harder. I was not spent, but stamina cannot increase one's speed.


When I touched home, the instructor showed me the timing on his clipboard - 41 minutes.



Normally, I would be undeterred. I would tell myself, "Ken, it's not a problem. Just try it again."



But the day has been hard on me, emotionally, mentally and physically. I am emotionally spent, after Results day and the match result.


I just picked up the towel and walked off to the changing room.





The mood has hardly improved, though days have passed. Sometimes, I think to myself, "Could I have done more to push 4e5?"


This question, perhaps, will never be answered.

About the gift of weekends

Here I am inside the sanctuary of Miss Clarity Cafe at Upper Thomson, and I'm sitting next to the cake counter. The cheesecakes looks irresistable and it takes some willpower not to fall for my craving and order one of those delicious-looking Oreo cheesecakes.

Nothing could ever beat the alcohol-laced cheesecake in Big O Cafe, or the unforgettable tiramisu cake in a shady joint in New York City's Italian quarter. Now that was one hell of a cake, completely overwhelming your senses.



The best bit of this busy week was having a lovely dinner with my beloved wife in a quiet corner of Seletar Camp. This bar and grill is renowned for its buffalo wings, where they are differentiated into various levels, according to the intensity of its pepper and chilli seasoning.

At first I was not so sure about how to find this restaurant. This place is highly secluded, located in a dark corner of this sprawling camp that dates back to the British era. There were no signposts. The roads were uneven, street lamps were in disrepair, and there were rows of abandoned white houses as I drove into the deepest recesses of the campsite. It's just perfect for my Toyota RAV4 4x4. Anyone with lesser courage would not want to spend any moment in those houses. They look hauntingly eerie. There's not a soul in sight.



Having been there only once before, I could only rely on my memory and directional instincts, so it was with great relief and pride when I saw the pretty lights that lit up the restaurant. We found it!



Needless to say, dinner was fantastic. If only we could have a heineken's to go along with it. Dinner with my wife is always a celebration of life and love. But of course, alcohol is a no-no, especially since I was the driver. So a glass of warm water each was just as good.




Another feel-good moment (many of them, in fact) happened, just yesterday, during the CCA parents' night. In the frenzied interior of the Hall, where a cacophony of cheers, screams, trumpets and chatter filled the air, I was glad to be able to meet familiar faces. I could not remember some names but it's was nice when they came up to me and said hello. Congrats Farhan, for getting a place in the polytechnic after your ITE studies.

I had a lovely chat with Syahirah. Goodness, she is very articulate and I was just drawn into her sharing about her customers at the make-up counter, where she works.

It's great to meet Farhan, Suhaimi, Jasman and Howe Zhong after such a long time. I'm glad that they came to support their CCAs (or his girlfriend, for one of them!). Nice chatting with you, Suhaimi.

The 4T1 folks - Kailing, Joey, Qiu Yue, Bao Hui, Thurga, Azzurah, Munir and Fauzee - brought a wide wide smile to my face. I sure missed their voices. You guys were fantastic and really funny. Munir - you can't run away from Kailing forever!


To Irah and Shahrin, chatting with you both in the canteen was a great experience. It was a very wholesome and engaging chat, wasn't it? And Shahrin, no, I don't think it's a good idea to get a motorbike! You guys make a beautiful couple.




To 4E3 and 4E4, I'm looking forward to next week's lessons in the AVA Room. Remember what you need to bring for the double-period lesson.


Thank Jesus for weekends. It really allows me to take a break from the massive work that lies in store for me.

And I'm excited because next month, there's the Vertical Marathon organised by NTU. It's time to start all those physical training again!


Lastly, as I was driving past Singapore Chinese Girls' School (a premier girls' school in Bukit Timah), I saw this banner that caught our eyes:

"From a face in the crowd, to one the crowd faces."


To my students - your individual value drops when you associate with people of questionable character and values. By persistently sticking with bad company, you will lose your individual sense of identity.



Conversely, choose your friends carefully and stay with the right company. At the same time, be independent. Achieve your goals. Have a dream, live your dream, work on it, and be anchored on the right values. Assuredly, you will shine.

About what makes a good day

It's only 3 days of school but I hardly got a moment to even take a seat on my chair in the staff room, so busy was my schedule and tasks.

But what was definitely good was that I was able to see students again.



Yesterday was particularly memorable, as the day was set aside for the Secondary One Sports Experience.

The Peer Leaders played a key role in ensuring that the programme went according to plan, so that all of the Sec One classes managed to try out the different sports on offer.


The senior and junior PLs were deliberately mixed and allocated to certain classes. I must say that the PLs, decked in the navy blue and orange t-shirts, certainly looked really cool and outstanding.




I am pleased that the PLs, on the whole, were able to keep the Sec Ones in check. It was good to see how well they managed the new students.




I am also very thankful for my basketball players - Zhi Cheng, Colvin, Andy and Haoming, for doing a good job in conducting the selection tests. It was very important because if they do a good job, then Fajar's basketball future is more or less secure.

I am proud of the way they handled the Sec One boys. They certainly captured their attention and managed to get them all to participate. Great job!




Finally, to top it all off, I got to meet some beloved students - Hazimah, Jasman, Lynn, Azzurah, Sin Han, Han Qiang, DJ, Swee Hong, Hamid, Haris and Zhining.


It was lovely to be able to talk to Hazimah, Lynn and Azzurah. And Jasman, it's great to see you. We all had a great game of volleyball, didn't we.


All in all, it's been a fantastic week!