A watershed year

In more ways than one, I found this year an exceedingly quick one. There is much for me to be thankful about. Some tough decisions were made, my stout convictions making sense only to me.

I'm gone a full circle now, having completed 4 years in my current school. I've been blessed enough to see the growth and maturity of those students who grew together with me in our first year. I say thee nay to those who cast aspersions to these children - though the PSLE was beyond them, they have proven their success by other yardsticks and are equally successful in their own ways.

I also found myself agreeing that I must continue to be their link towards employment, counsel and influence. Bereft of a safe and structured environment that the school provides, I shudder to think how detrimental their home environment would be to them - the values that have been instilled in them being negated by shadowy company, amoral home influences, and the absence of intrinsic impetus to continue their learning & development.

But we must continue our steadfast support to these students, as they step out of the comfort of the school zone. They must be prepared to take the direction of their lives by the scruff of the neck, and make bold, painful steps towards meaningful employment, further learning, and responsible adulthood. Back at school, there are multitudes of younger students, who, having gotten over the failure of the PSLE, must be taught to stand on their own feet and find the right path towards a bright future, under our careful tutelage.

A decade into this job now, I find myself at times dwelling introspectively. Some of my biggest joys are derived from my student-centric job. It's difficult at times, others it is a breeze. Wielding my influence, exerting my presence, the words I say (or left unsaid) - are meticulous and well-thought through - to teach the students to believe in themselves and to have hope for their future.

Some of the biggest frustration come from other quarters. My expectations are reasonable but sometimes the passiveness, the indifference, the unwillingness to evolve - has made me question the efforts and the time I'd poured into it. Yet my professionalism forbids me to speak even one negative word about this to others, lest it becomes gossip and unedifying talk. Yet sometimes the behaviour of certain adults in the profession are beyond my sane understanding and still I must tolerate and regard them with a minimum degree of respect and etiquette.

Having mulled over this before, the same spectre of career advancement opened its doors to me multiple times this year. I am blessed that the offers to take it up came in. I do not take it for granted. My feet are planted firmly on the ground. I could take it up, but I would not.

The prime motivation of my job satisfaction remains being closely connected with the students. Being a teacher, albeit in the classroom or on the sports field - remains my lifelong passion. Management, planning, and the whole gamut of responsibilities and duties that come with middle management, are unbearable at worst and deeply unsatisfying at best.

There have been moments where my thoughts drift towards doing something else with my life - alternative employment, venturing overseas, or the remote possibility of furthering my studies... Unfortunately, I am adverse to change most of the time. But who knows?