A childhood love

Current fav song: Stolen by Dashboard Confessions



My love for History remains unabated.

One memory I always reminisce with unadulterated pride and bitter regret is how I relished taking History exams during my St Joseph's days.

From Secondary One through to my O Level year, I scored a string of distinctions for that particular subject. Topics ranging from Kings Mongkut & Chulalongkorn, monarchs of Siam, to the rise and wane of the colonial powers in Southeast Asia simply whetted my appetite and I was accustomed to scoring As in every major examinations.

Sometimes I wonder, where did my love for History start from?

I can vaguely recall writing a composition when I was in Secondary One, when my intimidating English teacher, Mr Peter Martens, asked us to write on a great person in history.

So I did some research, and found this entry in the Encyclopedia Britannica titled, "Genghis Khan". I read and read and became more and more fascinated with this ancient ruler whose fearsome soldiers decimated grand empires in China and the Middle East.

The flame had been ignited.



It is ironic that while History was my source of pride (in that my love for this subject coupled with hard work really paid off handsome dividends in the exams), History was also the cause of my greatest heartbreak in Secondary 4.

With my streak of good results, I was harbouring thoughts of securing the Best History student prize in the Secondary 4 level. I had a realistic chance. My 'rivals' numbered less than 2 or 3, from the other classes, and there was every chance that I could pip them to this prize. I was confident of my ability and my hopes hinged on the all-important Preliminary Examinations.

It was that simple: score a good A1 in the Prelims (I got the A1 in my mid-year exams), and hope that the others messed their papers up.





Sitting for the exam paper, I looked through the essay questions and hummed to myself as I casually glanced through the pages. Yep, I could do most of the questions. I got down to writing the essays.




Some days later, brimming with confidence, my History teacher handed our scripts back to us.

I was baffled speechless when I saw my grade. Instead of an A1, I scored only a B3. I looked through the essays I had written, desperately trying to find out what went wrong.

Alas, I had failed one essay question. I looked at it thoroughly, and my mistake became apparent to me.

I had answered the question wrongly. My overconfidence and complacency had caused me to mis-read that essay question.




The disappointment was truly immense. It took months to subside. Of course, I lost that Best History student prize. That B3 that I scored didn't have a chance. Later on, I found out that the eventual winner of the prize scored an A1 in his Prelims. At that time, I muttered to myself, "it should have been me."

I managed to retrieve the pieces of my shattered confidence, by working twice as hard for the massive O Level exams. The spectre of missing out on a distinction for my best subject was something I had to avoid at all costs.




Receiving my O Level result slip some months later, it was with a great sense of bittersweet satisfaction, when my eyes searched and found the History grade. What might have been euphoria for me was tempered by the sombre reminder of that one poor performance in that school exam.





Today, I'm reading a book on the Roman Empire. Through the years, even after I've graduated from SJI, I've not lost my passion for history. Over the past few months, I've read books on the Crusades, Middle Eastern history, Chinese history, the Holocaust, the Hundred Years' War between England and France, and now, I'm glued to this book that chronicles the greatest Roman generals that helped to build up the mighty Roman Empire that lasted for over a thousand years.

The 'B3' episode has taught me a lesson in life, and that's never to be complacent. Even in areas that you are good at, good results are never guaranteed unless there's consistent hard work & self-belief. The quickest way to your downfall would be pride and to have that wicked delusion that minimal work will get you maximum results. Unfortunately, I think I was guilty of the former.




On the other side of the coin, I think I discovered a subject that I truly love. Reading history books may be torturous for some, but for me, it's like savouring fine wine - the older, the better!